I'm pretty angry. I have failed as a homewrecker. What's that? Why would anyone want to be a homewrecker? You're right! I am actually happy that I failed. But the competitiveness in me is still pretty upset about this, and will be for quite sometime.
Oh well.
I'm a little bit like Kanye West in that I can twist any bad news--or any information, really--and make it a positive message about me. It's probably my best character trait (no. best character trait: smile. but that's physical). So what I'm thinking about now isn't that I was bested by a very unattractive girl mismatched with a passable guy in a long-term relationship, but rather, thank god I'm not with a barely passable guy who would probably just cheat on me with someone even hotter (hah, yea, impossible). Also, thank god I'm not with a passable guy because I'm probably a lesbian anyway, and sure, I guess I should much rather prefer being with a passable girl.
But even more importantly, I don't want to be with anyone unless I'm going to marry them. I'm almost 22. I can't afford to fuck around anymore. Dating is for people who have nothing better to do. I'd very much prefer to get started on a family before I become a family practitioner. Maybe a little after, but certainly soon (well, in like five years). Dating's a distraction. I know this because...
If you weren't dating her, there's no way you could have been distracted from me.
Think about it.
Let's get married.
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