Sex in the Air

I was sitting in a salon reading a black magazine. When I hit the op-ed section, I read some good articles about politics, but eventually I read one that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. It simultaneously protested Chris Brown's bout with domestic violence and criticized Rihanna's lyrics. Then, to summarize and end, the writer said that they didn't want to be one of those people that "blames the victim," but basically Rihanna was taking it too far.

I can't remember which of Rihanna's lyrics they were using to denounce the singer, but almost all of them that have appeared near the top of the charts in the last two years contain a smacking of dirtiness to them. Most explicitly, S&M, which stands for sadomasochism, a title under which a lot of depraved sex acts fall under, did quite well but has a chorus that I never thought people would be okay playing on the radio.

I guess I'm getting old.

But the thing is, I like the fact that Rihanna "went" there. As the large minority of Americans still openly attack gay marriage, it's nice to know that S&M hit the top spot this summer, a song with content worse or equivalent to the moral-ills of gay marriage in the eyes of this segment of the population.

But even more important than that, I've noticed something happening that I'm not okay with. Young girls are dressing provocatively. Now true, this always happens, and I hate myself for bringing this up, but let's just assume that American morality is constantly cycling through itself, meaning twenty five and thirty five years ago, American youth had hit all time lows in their morality, and we're approaching a same kind of low again. I was particularly struck when my twelve years old cousin, raised in a very Christian household, appeared with thick eyeliner at our house during a family to family visit. I think she looked great, and her family members didn't seem to mind it much, but it seemed… wrong.

And then I caught myself. At any age, and no matter who you are, you should have a right to beautify yourself. People do this in a whole lot of different ways: tattoos to mild anorexia. But just like with other aspects of life, this is America and people should be able to do almost anything they want as long as they don't hurt other people or become a drain on society.

The number one reason why I don't like young girls beautifying themselves, is really for their own safety. Which is unfair and is the basis for the events titled "Slut Walks." Women should be able to dress any way they want and it should in no way compromise their own safety. This is totally a liberty thing and as humans move forward, I think liberty is the only way to protect our freedoms. Staying as libertarian as possible, if a woman dresses like a slut, men should be able to tell her she looks delish, but in no way should she feel like things will get out of control and that her physical safety will be compromised.

This is my view on female sexuality: No always means no. Disinterest means no. Anything less than yes should mean no. But if a woman wants to have sex, she should be able to use whatever type of language she wants. She should be able to tell you in disturbing detail the ways she wants to have sex with you. And if she ends up sounding like Rihanna, good. All the better. But until she gives you the go ahead, she should be able to dress like she's in the music video of S&M and no ill should befall her.

I've seen quite a few grade school aged girls wearing clothes more fashionable than me, texting on their iPhones and looking exactly like young women who stopped growing after hitting five feet. I in no way want to hear some guy around my age reference them as "jail bait." But I in no way want to stop young girls from dressing the way they want to.

In effect, Chris Brown is disgusting and Rihanna should be able to do whatever the hell she wants to do. There is no argument here. Never blame the victim. Never even consider it. When we tell women to dress modestly if they want to be safe, we are constricting their freedoms. And for the love of God, this is America.