I saw him tonight. I'm pretty drunk again. I finished my 100th shot at the Hour Glass tonight. Huzzah. I am sad. I hate this place called Colgate, but I love the friends I have made here. I guess it is time to move on. I can not regret it. There will be hotter/less white people in Chicago. I must move on.
Your names--you died here--I will have to bury you here. Who knows what memories I will resurrect when I return at some still unspecified date? How many people have I fallen in love with divided by how many people have broken my heart here? The number is 1. Haha, but the joke is on y'all because I am still hot and you would not believe how many of you there are. Implicit in that previous statement is how ugly you are in comparison to me. Go. Fuck. Yourself. I need some more motherfucking diversity.
What cheers me up as I interact with all the losers who have rejected me, either subtly or plain outright: next year I will be hooking up with doctors. Doctors, honey. You will continue to be unemployed. I yawn. You lose. There are so many of you. But there's only one of me. And right now, drunk and high on self-assured awesomeness, I am all that matters. Huzzah-motherfucking-huzzah.
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