I just realized how weird it is to label the people you know as friends, good friends, or best friends.
What's the difference between someone who is just a friend and someone who is your best friend. What if you haven't seen your best friend in years? Are you still best friends? I feel like I fade away from people really quickly. But then again... Nope. Even people I know I truly care about, if I haven't seen them in a long enough time, I just don't... I guess I get just as anxious around them as when I'm about to go meet up with acquaintances. I used to know why I did this--because I assume that if someone doesn't try to stay in touch with me, I have been more or less abandoned, and I hate feeling that way so I live without them. But now how can I expect people to actually stay in touch? All of my contemporaries are beginning their real lives and I can't expect to see any of them with any regularity.
But I guess even at a basic level, is there a difference in how I should feel around my friends, good friends, and best friends? Because in all honesty, I feel equally nervous around everyone.
The only two people I don't feel nervous around are my sisters.... and in all honesty.... I still feel nervous around them sometimes.
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