How to Be A Lady

force yourself to laugh when his jokes aren't funny
make sure to show all your teeth
(worth thousands in braces, retainers, and hydrogen peroxide pastes)
don't get upset when he never calls
cry yourself to sleep but don't sob
(remember to wake up with a manufactured smile)
act too weak to pick up objects that need to be moved
never, ever, never mention your six minute mile
(it's not right to cultivate strength)
feign ignorance when he talks about things you already know
show interest even when you think he's pathetic
(if you're wearing shades feel free to look away)
when you have a good idea, don't share it
when you don't want another drink, just take it
(get to the point where you'll stop thinking)

forget about the importance of yourself when you get denied
but it's all your fault that the tests came back positive

remember that you're worthless to everyone but yourself
but only when you cry at night, okay?
so you can wake up the next morning with a smile
when you don't want to, do it anyway