NaNoWriMo Mush

I am literally going to die. Literally. Hah. That's a pun, because I'm talking about death from writing block. I am at around 35,000 words of a novel that has to reach 50,000 words at midnight of December 1st. If I can make it that far, I can get the manuscript, bless it's crappy, dilapidated plot and poor character development, published for free. Which would be nice. However, I did self publish my first novel ever, and it only cost $8.98 plus shipping. Which is INSANE. And it's 212 pages. Of my words! Amazing.

I want to write. But I want to write everything. I don't like feeling contained in a plot. Even though I made the plot as open for change as possible. I also need to find a way to write a sex scene. It's one of the most important literary challenge I can pose for myself. When I was younger, like too young to really understand what sex was, but old enough to read novels, I remember reading this really random science fiction novel, maybe it was called Saturn Rising. There was a great white shark on the cover. The large plot twist was that an HIV vaccine had been manufactured, but once administered, people turned infertile. It was some weird government scheme to stop sexually active poor people from making more poor people. Boo Over controlling Governments! HOORAY population control! And that was really fascinating. But the only other thing I remember was this sex scene that the author decided should go thirty pages in and which likely scarred me for life. Sucks being an insomniac and having to find ways to keep yourself entertained while everyone else is swimming. And sleeping in a study that has a ton of books your aunt owned, and because she is a west coaster, the books are extreme.

Irregardless, SEX! Need to write a sex scene. My first novel was a disaster, in part because I couldn't even write a very convincing make out scene. Horrible. If you want to sell people on an intergalactic, interspecies relationship, you should at least be able to develop good chemistry. But no. FAIL! In part, I feel like I should conquer this fear because it also has real life applications. Most of the stories I tell are generally incredibly vague and full of euphemisms. SUSAN KIM IS A PRO! She can paint the most disturbing, yet realistic, scenes about the things she's done. I can't.
Susan: What did you do with Nick last night?
Elora: We hooked up, somewhere between second and third base.
Susan: ------------------------------------- [blank stare. begins calling nick.]

I feel like this is the only deficiency in my writing. And, as I have conquered my fear of watching people kiss on television, so too will I conquer my fear of describing people in the act of kissing.

Or this current novel will suck just as much as the last one.

Fortunately, it's plot doesn't hinge on a sex scene like the first one did.

FAIL.
FAIL.
FAIL.

Irregardless, I think I've gotten over my writer's block. Once again, this blog solves all my problems.