Doom Crush

Doom crush, n.

1. The noise of doom percussion; clashing; a crash. Obs.

2. a. The act of crushing; dooming compression or pressure that bruises, breaks down, injures, or destroys doomfully; also fig.

2. b. In the following perhaps = crash, as now often quoted, and as alluded to by the Pope.

2. c. A person with whom one is enamored or infatuated with, ending in doom; an infatuation; so to have or get a crush on, to be enamored of, take a strong fancy to someone who will cause your demise. slang (orig. U.S.).



Doom crush.
Any crush that results in epic failure.

There are two traditional types of doom crush.

• The first is the crush one has on people who are "way out of their league", also celebrities. These crushes help to establish the social hierarchy inherent within environments. example: "I have the biggest crush on [the cutest guy in school]!"; "Enrique Iglesias and I are going to get married and have model babies."
  
• The second, and ultimately more harmful crush occurs when a person decides to pursue someone significantly inferior; potential receptors of this crush are criminals, losers, and high schoolers. Doom crushes of this type can be classified as "attempting to date below your means", "lowering your standards to end your desperation", or "becoming too damn easy."
  example: "Guys, I think I have a crush on Mike." "You mean that guy who is not only ugly but has no social skills?" "Yea, that guy." "Sounds like a doom crush."; "I know I shouldn't like Jamie, she's a convicted felon. But she's sooo hot."
  A doom crush of this type will lead to depression if unsuccessful.
  example: "I must be really ugly. I couldn't even get Mike to date me. And he's like a two."