Hey, if you know me, and/or would like to facebook me, click this...
generally my feelings towards facebook are... minimal... hidden... concealed... but i'm bored.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Existentialism?
I finally know why I was so depressed last year. This makes me happy because 1) I no longer have to blame anyone and 2) it is something that effects others; I was not the only one in the history of man to suffer so poorly. It has a term. It is called: Terror management theory, the theory that humans will freak out when they finally become aware that one day, they will die.
So I could blame the kid who asked me, "What happens to us when we die?" or I could just believe that that depression could have struck at any time, and perhaps he did me a favor. I no longer think about death uncontrollably. It's really rather annoying, because you can never come to an exact conclusion. So I think of other things, more important things, like how good life can feel sometimes.
We read the stranger by camus in english this week. It deals with existentialism and absurdism. I can't say I really believe in them. Not because I'm religious, and not because I have a lot of hope for the human condition. It just doesn't... seem credible. And at the very least, existentialism wouldn't help humans reproduce better, so it's not an idea that would get passed down genetically. Maybe it's because I don't see the universe as random. I think that even the laws of physics speak against that. With the big bang everything was set in motion, like fate, that controls everything we do. I think people can believe in existentialism because they see others who can "control" their situation, and yet they feel utterly helpless. They see the world as random, because they can't understand it, and are frustrated with it. But there's something higher than us. Higher than everyone, for that matter. All humans have a certain amount of freedom, but it's not as though that can give us any sort of purpose. Humans can't be the only things that can give purpose to their surroundings.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I can see purpose in everything. Not me, as a human, seeing purpose in other things. But being able to see order in other things kind of gives me hope that there is some sort of higher "power" if you will, like fate... controlling everything. Like, what's up with the golden ratio? Why is it everywhere? It's like the universe is controlled to come up with these exact same things over and over again. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing, and I don't think we should be so self-consumed to say we are the only things that can give purpose to living, life, and everything.
Sure, existence may very well be everything. But I still don't see how we can say that we are the only ordered things in the entire universe. And I don't think things need to live to provide a certain order and purpose to other things.
So I could blame the kid who asked me, "What happens to us when we die?" or I could just believe that that depression could have struck at any time, and perhaps he did me a favor. I no longer think about death uncontrollably. It's really rather annoying, because you can never come to an exact conclusion. So I think of other things, more important things, like how good life can feel sometimes.
We read the stranger by camus in english this week. It deals with existentialism and absurdism. I can't say I really believe in them. Not because I'm religious, and not because I have a lot of hope for the human condition. It just doesn't... seem credible. And at the very least, existentialism wouldn't help humans reproduce better, so it's not an idea that would get passed down genetically. Maybe it's because I don't see the universe as random. I think that even the laws of physics speak against that. With the big bang everything was set in motion, like fate, that controls everything we do. I think people can believe in existentialism because they see others who can "control" their situation, and yet they feel utterly helpless. They see the world as random, because they can't understand it, and are frustrated with it. But there's something higher than us. Higher than everyone, for that matter. All humans have a certain amount of freedom, but it's not as though that can give us any sort of purpose. Humans can't be the only things that can give purpose to their surroundings.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I can see purpose in everything. Not me, as a human, seeing purpose in other things. But being able to see order in other things kind of gives me hope that there is some sort of higher "power" if you will, like fate... controlling everything. Like, what's up with the golden ratio? Why is it everywhere? It's like the universe is controlled to come up with these exact same things over and over again. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing, and I don't think we should be so self-consumed to say we are the only things that can give purpose to living, life, and everything.
Sure, existence may very well be everything. But I still don't see how we can say that we are the only ordered things in the entire universe. And I don't think things need to live to provide a certain order and purpose to other things.
Monday, January 08, 2007
new years resolutions!
new years resolutions
- care less about celebrities
- look straight ahead when walking in hallways (not at walls or my feet)
- stop being so emotional
- study a little harder
- have more fun
- go to more parties
- make more/better friends
- continue asking people out on schedule
- write a book
- listen to better/more music
- keep an idea journal
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
So very... very... close...
Congratulations! Your Application for Admission was successfully submitted online at 11:48 PM on 1/2/2007.
Don't Play What's There, Play What's Not There - Miles Davis (U of Chicago)
Miles Davis was a fundamental part of almost any jazz movement taking place during the twentieth century. By saying "Don't play what's there, play what's not there", Davis inspired creativity as an artist. But in his words he's also pushing us to break free of all molds that constrict us to any normalcy. He's telling us to take a hold of our destiny. If we have the tools, be it a trumpet, a pen, or a great idea, we shouldn't do what's been handed to us, but take control, take a chance, and attempt to do something better.
The great people in the world all had tools but decided to do something different. History tends not to remember the ordinary. Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment introduces a similar idea by way of the Raskolnikov's essay. The essay focuses on how the mass majority of people are simply ordinary. The few people who are extraordinary have ideas that they need to bring somehow to society. Sometimes their ideas are accepted, but for the most part, these pioneers suffer for their innovative discoveries (picture Gailileo), that are ahead of their time. How many artists died in poverty only to become famous after death?
Eventually, anyone with the tools will need the courage to do the greater good, even if society at that point isn't ready to accept changes in morals or beliefs. Ideas are powerful, and I believe that most ideas are good. And those that aren't? Even those spread debate which helps us all. All people who have influential ideas must also have an established ethics code that might be more liberal than the conservative society.
Of course, I don't know if any of this Davis had in mind. He could have just been making a realistic jive at improvisation. I don't know if I will ever be a great person, odds are against me, but if given the tools, I know I will always find ways to help people. What feels right is right, and eventually everybody benefits. I trust my judgements, and given the tool of a good education, I hope I can live as extraordinarily as possible.
The great people in the world all had tools but decided to do something different. History tends not to remember the ordinary. Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment introduces a similar idea by way of the Raskolnikov's essay. The essay focuses on how the mass majority of people are simply ordinary. The few people who are extraordinary have ideas that they need to bring somehow to society. Sometimes their ideas are accepted, but for the most part, these pioneers suffer for their innovative discoveries (picture Gailileo), that are ahead of their time. How many artists died in poverty only to become famous after death?
Eventually, anyone with the tools will need the courage to do the greater good, even if society at that point isn't ready to accept changes in morals or beliefs. Ideas are powerful, and I believe that most ideas are good. And those that aren't? Even those spread debate which helps us all. All people who have influential ideas must also have an established ethics code that might be more liberal than the conservative society.
Of course, I don't know if any of this Davis had in mind. He could have just been making a realistic jive at improvisation. I don't know if I will ever be a great person, odds are against me, but if given the tools, I know I will always find ways to help people. What feels right is right, and eventually everybody benefits. I trust my judgements, and given the tool of a good education, I hope I can live as extraordinarily as possible.
What's Your Favorite Art Work? - University of Chicago Prompt
Art is something new, sparks ideas, sensual, pleasing, and intellectual. I personally couldn't agree more, as art should be pleasing--any other purpose is automatically secondary. I enjoy socially conscious rap music, created by such people as A Tribe Called Quest, Jurassic 5, and Chicago Native, Common. I automatically enjoy the catchiness of rap--it's audibly delightful. But I love it even more when it has such great ideas and messages crammed into it. I also enjoy this kind of rap because of the many allusions rappers use in their work. Biblical, mythological, and pop-cultural references add to the many layers the song has, and it also allows me to begin thinking about some bigger ideals. My favorite rap songs have such references that spark amazing trains of thought that often last longer than the song. What really draws me to rap music is the popular misconception that all rap music is about violence, sex, and drugs. Rap music has (sorry for the pun) gotten an awfully bad rap in the past. But I've found music that few people can understand, and artists that most people haven't even heard of, which makes my relationship with "underground hip-hop" even more intimate. Most people wouldn't expect it, but I believe rap music is a very high form of art, when done correctly.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Amazon.com
I think that the "one-click shopping!" selling scheme for Amazon.com really does increase business. It just doesn't feel like you're paying money to buy a really wonderful (and sometimes really expensive) product when all you have to do is left click. I just bought Startopia and Creatures, two simulation games from my past, for less than ten dollars each. And if I had REALLY wanted to, I could have bought Creatures 2, selling for $0.01. That's just amazing. I must've paid $15 for it when it was new, and now it's selling for a penny? Simply mind-blowing.
College Supplemental Essay - Colby College
I think the thing that scared me most about my own future was the possibility that my generation might not fulfill its promise. Junior year was the first time when I began looking beyond myself, and it was really very unnerving. With the almost one-third of Americans never graduating from high school, the thin veil of peace over very few, selective places, and the threat of nuclear war still hanging over our heads, I didn’t feel safe. It was a very depressing, sobering time for me. I felt powerless within the whims of the world, minute in contrast with the magnitude of any global situation. But junior year passed, and when senior year began, it occurred to me that I could attempt to make some sort of difference in the world. It’ll probably be small and seemingly insignificant, but if I don’t attempt to try and change anything, I’ll be looking back on my life angry and bitter about my missed opportunities. To be honest, this is my biggest fear now, that at the end of my life, I won’t have anything to be happy about, no accomplishments to be read along with my name. In this way James Baldwin’s quote speaks to me: “Not everything faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced”. I could continue to recede away from the problems I feel are plaguing my generation, but are too fearful to fix. Or I could at least try. And that is what motivates me to pursue an excellent liberal arts education.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Well, it's a Start
Opening Blank Notes... Wow. What a decision which may waste a lot of time and/or organize things for me quite a bit. How exciting. Amusing, too, since I'm fairly confident no one will read this entry for quite some time.
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