And that's what I would've wanted to hear:
"I'm sorry. I'm not angry, I'm just worried."
As an 8 year old, as a 23 year old. As someone with "almost conduct disorder"--someone who has run away several times--"I'm just worried" is all I could ever really hopeful.
But now we are tracing down a boy who has managed to not care about what I've said, and seems to care even less that his girlfriend was crying at him to stop running away. He's still run away'd. And I am pissed off.
He is going to die. 18 degrees. Sunrise is still 3 hours away. He is going to die and its going to be my fault because people either love me or hate me--but usually I'm just misread. And he misread everything I have said as a sign of disrespect. And just happened to skip over my many compliments. I don't think my consciousness can carry this.
Wow. When men want to kill themselves, they really carry through.
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