My novel is so bad. So bad. I am constantly telling, not showing. And I am constantly using adverbs, my arch nemeses. It got so bad that last night I basically started yelling at myself: "ADVERBS ARE WORDS, TOO!" I am a hot literary mess.
But I am still crossing several things off of my life's literary to-do list:
1) Stop using the thesaurus.
The use of thesauri are what facilitates people to step away from adverbs. Silly, silly adverbs. But I kind of wanted to see how well developed my vocabulary is. I am always really sad that my vocabulary doesn't loudly (ADVERB!!!) announce itself whenever I write. It makes me think that my vocabulary really is not that impressive. And it probably isn't. But still... I have only used the thesaurus twice. For writing 34,000+ words, I think that is pretty splendid.
2) Write a novel during medical school.
Self explanatory. It's hard. It's a challenge. But I managed to do exceedingly well on one portion of an exam in the heart of November. So perhaps it's not impossible.
3) Write a love scene.
I have been trying to do this since I first started writing stories about adults. So basically, for the last six or seven years. Which is really kind of amusing when I think about it. Why would I try to write about something I've never done? It's been an exceedingly (you're right, adverbs are words... horrible, horrible words that should be shot) difficult journey. How did I manage to finally bed a love scene? Well, to be fair, I used some real life cheat codes to get an Elora Apantaku love story down on paper. First, I was really, really tired. Second, I had had two glasses of red wine. Three, it was a lesbian sex scene. Maybe? (Maybe referring to sex, not lesbian). I still don't actually remember what I wrote down, and I have a feeling I won't remember it at all until I finally allow myself to read it. I've glanced at it four times, and at least twice I was pleased. Twice I was wincing in pain. So I don't know. It may end up being well done. Or medium rare. I have no idea. But I did it. Maybe.
4) Write a torture scene.
This really surprised me because I hate torture scenes. I hate them more than love scenes. I never watch them in movies. I can't watch Ultimate Fighting whatever on ESPN or whatever channel they let adult men beat each other bloody. The scene where they torture Han Solo in Episode V still haunts me. Interestingly, I had my heroine use her memory of Princess Leia getting tortured in Episode IV (by the IT-O Interrogator droid) as a source of strength. I do not know if it was a convincing torture scene, but it will probably end up being more convincing than my love story. But it was really exciting. And I guess that's really what NaNoWriMo should be about. Excitement. And I got to use the word hemoptysis, so I win.
Overall I love my story. And I think it's important for me to get three novels done, so at the very least I can statistically analyze them. Statistics! It's weird. My first novel and my third will end up being science fiction, but I think they may be way more realistic than my second, a novel that demands to be taken seriously because it exists in a potentially real world. So I'm a science fiction writer? Whole heartedly I suppose. I can't write crazy science fiction that is more like fantasy, devoid of reality right in this moment in human history. But it seems like I love writing science fiction that is a mosaic between our real world and whatever the hell I'm dreaming of in my head.
So I love my crappy story. I won't deny it! I may have used the phrase and variations of the phrase: "I felt like..." over seventy times, but I refuse to give a damn. My story has a plot! It has science! It has love! It has pain! It has science! Really need to stress how much science I shove into my stories! It has telling and no showing, but by god it has a plot!
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