Winning the Game

I have this saying that's simply, "I'm gonna win the game."

The problem is, I have no idea what that would even begin to look like. And the biggest problem about the phrase, is that it makes me focus on wants that are heavily socialized. Winning the game wouldn't let me be a single mom or married to a woman. Winning the game would be much more boring than that.

Don't get me wrong--even heavily socialized, my day dreams are still exciting and clearly ridiculous and highly implausible. But if I didn't think about winning the game all the time, I wonder where I'd be.

Okay, so winning the game. I'm married. To a man. Based on his attributes, my children will either play Water Polo, Football, or Swim. I've had two sets of twins, and they have awesome names. I'm a pretty successful doctor. I'm probably married to a politician. I work my way up the ranks of Chicago bureaucracy, and I become the director of health, making Chicagoans the healthiest urban dwellers in America--or at least happier. Chicago is a sad city. A proud city, but a sad one. I've written a couple books. I've appeared on the news a few times. Maybe I'm on one of the national morning news shows. I'm skinnier than I am now. I wear nice jewelry.

Okay, so not winning the game. I'm a pilot. I don't know how this would even happen, or what routes I'd fly, but I fly planes and it's amazing. I am technically a doctor, but I spend all my time in the tropics or Seattle, doing things that aren't medically related. I write. I write novels. They are exciting. They are not bestsellers, but I have a small group of fans who love my work. My wife is the most gorgeous woman I've ever met who was also interesting to talk to. We have two kids. We tell them that they're twins, but they're clearly not. I made them beaded crowns when they were adopted, and I tell them fictionalized accounts of my family history every night before they go to sleep. I make a mean basil bisque.

So which one is more exciting? I always tell myself when I fail that one day I'm going to win the game. I'm going to ask more people out. People are going to respect me. I'm going to be famous or loved or both. But I'm getting older and I just don't think any of this is plausible anymore. I hope my life ends up being stranger than fiction, but if not, well I guess I won the game. It's not exciting, to win. But it makes you feel better.