Also, what the fuck? I think you're falling prey to Lilly Pulitzer ridiculous rhetoric. They can't fucking be honest about anything. They over sell all their products verbally, even the ones that really do suck. EXAMPLE:
> "We don't do "solids" often but when we do, we suuuure exceed expectations. Oh, and we say that in the most humble way (wink, wink). Seriously, this is the most perfect cozy sweater dress with everything you'd expect from Lilly minus our print!"
Sounds like that dress would be fucking amazing. The way I expect it to look is: hugging the models curves, offered in white and a brownish-grey... a hazel maybe... made of a nice cashmere blend and turtle neckish.
But seriously? What is that? It's gross. That's what it is. The only accurate guess I had was turtleneck--and it's not even really a turtleneck. They bastardized it in the picture of the blue one with an actual turtleneck, creating some some incredibly weird, double layered thing that I don't think should count as a turtleneck. They should be modest about that, and none of that wink wink crap either. That's seriously one of the worst sweater dresses I've seen on the market.
The worst part is, they're trying to make you, a gullible shopper, spend $178 on this piece of crap. It's made of cotton and wool. There's no cashmere in that. They try to convince you that it's amazing, "we suuuure exceed expectations," but the truth is, they didn't and if you are convinced that this dress is worth buying, then you shouldn't be allowed a disposable income. I bet OLD NAVY has better sweater dresses than this fiasco. I'll be back in three minutes...
Fine, Old Navy didn't offer anything stunning, but here's a GAP dress you'd actually have a fighting chance of looking sexy in for $78. Saving you literally, $100, and you're super hot sexiness.
Seriously though, what the fuck? That's a sweater dress and it's super sexy and utilitarian. Best of all, it comes in appropriate winter colors such as black and dark purple, possibly a plum.
Best of all, GAP doesn't brag that it's created something; they don't trip over words to tell you that they've just created the "most perfect cozy sweater dress". They give you the straight facts: 51% Nylon, 41% Viscose Rayon, 8% Angora--Hand Wash--Imported. And it's also incredibly helpful in telling you how to best maximize your attractiveness in this rather costly (but still just $78) number:
"Incredibly versatile, our fine-gauge knit sweater dress looks best with tights and boots."
So straight and to the point. My GOD! Could shopping really be this easy?
And one last point I'd like to make:
Look back at the Lilly Pulitzer commentary for that dress.
Do you see it?
That horrific error?
It's a fucking exclamation point.
Don't buy things, or even converse with people, who use exclamation points regularly and without sarcasm in written communication. They're usually either batshit insane or completely fake, unrealistic, and out of touch with you, an actual person who is just trying to look good for as cheap as possible.
Right? You're an actual person who is just trying to look good for as cheap as possible.
I think that's an accurate statement to your identity. DON'T BUY CLOTHING FROM CRAZY PEOPLE.
ARE YOU TRYING TO LOOK SEXY OR ATTRACTIVE AT ALL?
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